I really love my mom

Normally I don't trust studies without first analyzing the results and methods myself (what can I say, I'm not a trusting person), but this just confirms what we already know:

"Careful examination of the scientific data collected by the test concludes that adults who reportedly did not participate in or receive gifts or other tokens of affection in connection with Valentine's Day do exhibit signs of emotional stress, ranging from mild depression to noticeable anxiety. "

So, I would like to take this opportunity to lay out a few Valentine's Day guidelines that should be followed to inflict the least amount of pain on those around you, and possibly even make their Valentine's Day enjoyable.
  1. If you are a man, and you have a girlfriend, I don't care what your personal feelings about Valentine's Day are. I don't care if you think it's just a made up holiday to sell greeting cards; it is your duty to do something nice for her. And, after having gotten her something, or sending her a nice card, or otherwise expressing your feelings for her, you can maybe throw in there that you don't really care for the holiday. But don't use that as an excuse to not do anything and expect her to just be ok with it. Especially because chances are, she's already thought of something nice to do for you.
  2. If you are a member of a couple, try not to show off your flowers/chocolates/fancy dinner reservations in front of single girls, or girls who have boyfriends with the above problem. Share all you want with other coupled friends, but singles generally feel crappy enough.
  3. If you and your friends are all single, do something nice for each other. If you can't celebrate romance (and even if you can), remember that in most cases, your friends will last a great deal longer than the guy you're dating, or wish you were dating. Buy each other chocolate, cards, girl-porn movies like Pride and Prejudice, and make a little fun for yourselves.
  4. Extra props go to single guys who get their female friends each a card, or a yellow rose, or something like that. It really says a lot about his character.
  5. Don't forget your family. If Valentine's Day is about love, remember that no one loves you like your mother does, so treat her accordingly. My mom sent me my favorite chocolate, and it really made Valentine's Day worth celebrating, since my boyfriend apparently is afflicted with the problem in rule #1. So yeah, I love her.
  6. Please don't subject us to your feminist rants about this being V-Day until the violence stops. Most relationships are not abusive, most men are good guys, not rapists and wife-beaters, so there's no call to make the holiday worse by making it so depressing. Violence against women (and against people in general) is a problem, but it's proper place is not on Valentine's Day. See below posts for my reasons why not
Thats about it. Enjoy all the chocolate, everybody. I'll try to get back to politics tomorrow, but today isn't a good day to rant, and I have homework.
-The Quartermaster


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